Your "soulmate"

The word "soulmate" seems to be used a lot these days. I've heard it; so have you. It's in this week's news, and the way it is used makes me think, "Who should be my 'soulmate'?"

Here's how Webster defines the word:
1 : a person who is perfectly suited to another in temperament
2 : a person who strongly resembles another in attitudes or beliefs

The obvious implication is that your "soulmate" is someone who truly understands who you are and with whom you love to spend time because of your "chemistry".

Troubled South Carolina Governor Mark Sandford, talking fast and loose about his confessed adulterous lifestyle, said about his Argentine paramour that she is his "soul mate" -- but he would try to save his marriage anyway. I have to add that Gov. Sandford is a professing believer in Christ, and has been vocal about his faith.

But I have to ask the obvious - at least to someone who has done his share of pre and post marital counseling: Shouldn't your spouse be your soulmate? I mean, if you need one, didn't God bring you two together to compliment one another and become one? That's my understanding of Genesis 2:24 - This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.

United into one - a pretty good definition of "soulmate", don't you think? So when a third party somehow takes that role away, (or even in a fantasy is given that role) whether emotionally or physically, God's design for us has been rejected.

All that to say this: if you are married your spouse is your "soulmate". There can be room for no other person to assume that role in your life. None. If you're marriage is lacking the togetherness that it should have then do something about it. But don't look elsewhere for what God says should only come from your mate. Be careful about relationships with someone of the opposite sex. Guys, stay away from porn! Don't have internet "friends" of the opposite sex unless your spouse not only approves, but has open access to your accounts. Be honest with your spouse when you sense you might be growing apart, and don't wait until "you have to get counseling".

If you are married to another believer your marriage is to be a picture of Christ's relationship to His bride, the church. That means our marriages, which are seen by the world, should say to the world, "Here's how Jesus relates to us". Read Paul's words in Ephesians 5:21-33.

If you are married to a non-believer God's Word tells you to stay with him or her and be an example of Christ's love. See 1 Corinthians 7:12-17. Don't preach it with words - live it by your servanthood and devotion.

I don't know; don't care to know why Gov. Sandford went astray. The pain he has caused his wife, his sons, his family, his church has to be tremendous. But it's obvious, at least to me that somewhere he got way off track, and continues to be if he continues to consider another woman his soulmate.

None of us are immune from the enemy's attacks against our faith through our relationships, including our marriages, no matter how long we've been married. So work together at not only becoming "soulmates" and best friends but at staying that way.

And if you do need "counseling", please start with someone who knows the Lord intimately. Our Counseling Team is available, and will do all they can in their ability to help you. Pastor Steve Wise leads a trained compassionate team who will biblically and confidentially help you stay on track or get back on it if you've drifted.